He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
