Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
