Porn is love you can see.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
