Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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