I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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