hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
