People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
