Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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