So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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