Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
