I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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