Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
