3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
