i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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