So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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