dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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