I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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