planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
