It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
