Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
