Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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