I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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