After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
