I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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