Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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