dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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