in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
