Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
