Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
my liver is dry heaving
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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