The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
