i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
