Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
