not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize