he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
