is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
