I'm really into asian looking animals
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
