toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
either way he was missing a nipple.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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