so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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