I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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