Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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