I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize