Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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