New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
