I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
