I'm going to jail i love you
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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