you win again, gameday.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
