She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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