we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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