No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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