so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
