I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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