My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
FUCK WHALES
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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