we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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