I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
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He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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