Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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