she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize